November 15th, 2011

HTC Droid

This is the true story about HTC Droid, a mobile phone brave and strong.

Once upon a time, a husband, BigG, and his wife, Linda, went on a long and beautiful hike. BigG carried his precious Little Droid. Up, up, up they went, then down, down, down.

When they were done, they stood in the sun with their truck named Silver, who sat atop a dirt-pack road. BigG asked Linda to hold Little Droid, and Linda took Little Droid in her hand. But Linda wanted to know how far they had walked, how high they had climbed, how fast they had strode together, so she placed Little Droid on Silver’s back bumper to examine her special watch.

Very soon, BigG was ready to go, so BigG and Linda climbed aboard Silver and drove down, down, down the mountain. They passed a red truck: vroom. They passed a white truck: zoom. Still down, down, down they drove until they came to a red sign that said, “STOP!” And at the red sign that said, “STOP!” BigG asked Linda, “Won’t you please hand me Little Droid.”

Linda screamed. Her scream carried up, up, up the mountain and down, down, down the other side. “I DON’T HAVE LITTLE DROID!” she cried.

With great haste, BigG turned Silver around and drove up, up, up the mountain to the place where they had started. When they reached the place where they had started, BigG climbed out of Silver and Linda climbed out too. They looked, and looked, and looked, but Little Droid was nowhere to be seen.

So Linda climbed back aboard Silver, and BigG walked ahead. Down, down, down they went, and looked, and looked, and looked. They looked where they passed red truck. They looked where they passed white truck. But Little Droid was nowhere to be seen.

Down, down, down they went until they were nearly at the red sign that said, “STOP!” And here Little Droid was seen.

In the middle of the dirt-pack road, Little Droid was lying face down in the dirt with tracks down his back from red truck and from white truck. BigG wiped the tracks from Little Droid’s back then gently turned him over. BigG looked, and looked, and looked at Little Droid’s face.

Without a word, BigG climbed aboard Silver, wiping the dirt from Little Droid’s face. Without a word, BigG showed Linda Little Droid’s face that was happily scratch-free! Without a word, BigG pressed the button that once, before the long and beautiful hike, had sparked the life of Little Droid. Without a hitch, without a glitch, Little Droid came to life, lit his face, and said in his robot voice: “Droid!”

BigG smiled. Linda smiled. Little Droid had saved their marriage. So down, down, down the mountain they drove with their hands together atop the perfect Little Droid. And then? Why then they all lived happily ever after, of course!

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You would think at our age that we wouldn’t have to worry about these things. But, as Kate will attest, even at *ahem* 27, untimely breakouts can (and will) happen. What to do? Apply an ice cube for 30 second. Then soak a cotton ball in eye drops and press it to the “spot” for 3 minutes. The theory is that the ice and drop combination will cause blood vessels below the surface to contract—leaving you looking, well, a little less like Rudolph.