Once upon a time… Sleeping in meant wondering if we’d still make brunch, not 7 am. We’d have that brunch and linger way too long, lounging with the Sunday paper and getting coffee refills. We could go out to dinner whenever we wanted. At whatever time we wanted. Just because. Going to see a movie didn’t involve logistical gymnastics and a home equity loan just to cover the sitter. I could wear a two-piece and not be arrested. I never (...Read More)
About KateKate is mother to three exceptionally strong and solid offspring, "Elise" (b. 2005),"Luke" (b.2008), and "Emile" (b. 2011), who have successfully put her spine one hoist away from disc herniation. She lives in the Washington DC area and works in healthcare—which is convenient given the physical hazards of her mommy gig. Kate is deathly afraid of developing large nose pores and is very suspicious of squirrels. She hopes she will never, ever need to face these two fears simultaneously. She is a huge fan of eating, sleeping, and taking private showers. Kate yearns for the day when she will not have to follow any dependent being into the bathroom for quality control. She is also known for saying, "There's nothing that makes you feel like more of a tool than writing about yourself in third person."
We were sitting on the grass, 4 year old Luke and me, watching his older sister Elise at soccer practice, when Luke pauses from eating his apple to say, “I have to go poop.” “Now???” He nods, solemly. Crap. Literally. Here we are, on the fields of some strange middle school. I realize the gravity of the situation. This could be disastrous. Okay. I could feel my mind sharpening its focus and my body shifting into CSM: Child Survival Mode. (...Read More)
Dear Children, You know how you often will get up out of bed once you’ve been tucked in and kissed good night? Not cool. You see, the reason I say “Good night,” is because I want it to be the last time I see you ALL night, all the way until MORNING. You have working arms and can replace your fallen blankets. That buzzing is a fly that won’t bite, and you can take your own selves into the bathroom for (...Read More)
Sweet child, there are moments when you bring me absolute joy…and others when I’m [thisclose] to putting you up for the highest bid on e-Bay.
Current Occupation: Mother. 2005-present Positions held: - Chauffer/Taxi driver - Nail technician - First aid attendant - Barber - Rear hygienist - Conflict resolution/mediator - Cheerleader - Personal shopper/stylist - Party planner - Anger Management Counselor - Maid - Short order cook - Waitress - Table Busser - Psychotherapist - Tutor - Lifeguard - Social Chair - Referee - Coach - Waste Receptacle - Exorcist Education: Over-qualified. Well, I at least know more than the kids. Accomplishments: - Flew cross (...Read More)