Current Occupation: Mother. 2005-present Positions held: - Chauffer/Taxi driver - Nail technician - First aid attendant - Barber - Rear hygienist - Conflict resolution/mediator - Cheerleader - Personal shopper/stylist - Party planner - Anger Management Counselor - Maid - Short order cook - Waitress - Table Busser - Psychotherapist - Tutor - Lifeguard - Social Chair - Referee - Coach - Waste Receptacle - Exorcist Education: Over-qualified. Well, I at least know more than the kids. Accomplishments: - Flew cross (...Read More)
On the first day of spring break the universe sent me Caveman’s pants that were soaked with pee (in the middle of a book store, awesome). On the second day of spring break the universe sent me two sleepovers (GO TO SLEEP!) and Caveman’s pants that were soaked with pee. On the third day of spring break the universe sent to me three art projects (NO GLITTER!), two sleepovers, and Caveman’s pants that were soaked with pee. On the fourth (...Read More)
Caveman’s new method for not picking up toys: “They are sleeping right now. I’ll pick them up after their nap is over.”
Snugglebug recently developed a strange rash, speckles, welts and bumps that erupted and scabbed over in a matter of days. Her temperature was normal, but when I had to wake my high-energy five-year-old at 10:00 a.m.—a full three hours later than she usually wakes me—the anxiety set in. “It’s chicken pox. I just know it,” I told Mr. Wright. “Yeah, she sure does look sick,” he replied, wincing at her high-pitched shrieks of abject joy as she climbed a mountain (...Read More)
It’s so cute how my husband only makes one pot of coffee in the morning. Amateur.