Aside

When I Got Too Old to Text

February 18, 2010 By

There are points in time where I feel too old.  Watching ABC Family, for instance, and thinking “Greek” is not a family show.  Too old.  After seeing the movie trailer for “Toy Story 3”, and hearing the phrase, “Andy’s going to college!”  Too old.  And, after multiple failed attempts at incorporating text messaging into my life, I have officially been proven to be too old to text.

The most recent event happened this past weekend – Valentine’s Day weekend.  I was meeting up with some friends to attend a “Love Bites” themed cabaret show where some other friends were performing.  It was a night out for me— the hubby was off with Spicy Girl, so mommy could have some fun and a cocktail.  Since I am in the habit of bringing my digital SLR with me whenever I attend an event where moments in time need to be recorded, I usually pack it along.  However, I wasn’t sure if this would be the appropriate venue, and if the flash would be too distracting for my vocalizing friends. 

So, what’s a modern mommy to do?  Text!  That’s what!  So here it is, verbatim (editorial comments included):

Me:  “So excited to see you tonight!  Can’t wait! Would it be too distracting to bring my camera?”  (I know; text messaging in complete sentences is so un-cool.)

Them:  “Whose this?”  (I’m not going to get nitpicky on the spelling.)

Me:  “Oh, Sorry, it’s Laura.  Gosh how inappropriate could that first question come off if you didn’t know who sent the message.  Sorry, thought you had me programmed into your phone. LOL.”  (Threw in that little hip text terminology, because I’m trying to be cool.)

Them:  “Laura who?  Who are you sending that to?”  (Things aren’t looking good.

Me:  “Dame Judi Denche.”  (Name changed to protect the innocent.  However, I think my friend will enjoy this substitution.)

Them:  “This isn’t them.”  (OK, now the grammar thing is ticking me off.) 

Me:  “Sorry.  Have a great day!” (Not sure why, but I was looking around to make sure that no one was witnessing this proud moment.)

I didn’t bring the camera.  Who knew what would have happened? 

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About Laura

If you had told Laura that she would become a first time mom at 41, say back in her "spirited 20s", she would have said "That sounds about right.  I've got too much to do until then."  Well, she didn't really, and it wasn't exactly by choice. Seven years of fertility treatments later, it all seemed to make sense.  And with the words, "let's adopt," the adventure really began.  When her daughter ("Spicy Girl" b.2007) was placed in her arms at 11 months old, in a city half-way around the world, the idea of motherhood became the reality of "what the hell am I doing?"  All at once, life at home became a constant sociological experiment of nature vs. nurture.  "Honestly, honey, I didn't teach her how to do a forward roll at 20 months ... I couldn't do one when I was 20 years old.  It must be her hard-wiring." In her daytime away from mom-hood, she works as a higher education administrator where she does her best not to parent 18 to 22 year-olds.
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