We all know the story of the poor little chicken who had to had to bust her chicken butt because the worthlessly lazy cat and dog wouldn’t get off their tails to help plant the wheat, grind the flour, bake the bread etc. This, poor, poor chicken. And yet, somehow I feel on a weekly basis like this sad little character, so much that I find myself talking out loud in storybook form. Sometimes at the world, sometimes at my (...Read More)
About KarrieKarrie is proud to hail from the heart of the Midwest, where she and her family live in a small town that is so friendly it almost makes you sick. Here, where every grocery store aisle brings a new conversation and locals are on a first name basis with city officials, Karrie and her family have shared potato salad with just about everyone. This lack of anonymity has given her super special powers to yell at her kids through looks and small hand motions alone—and yet, all three of her children continue to prosper. “Eleanor” (b. 2001), “Tony” (b. 2003), and “Ally” (b. 2007) eat mostly noodles, constantly have dirty fingernails, and don’t practice the piano as much as their mother wants them to. Other than that, they bring great joy to Karrie, who drinks her own weight in coffee every day just to keep from falling over. Karrie once realized she had 4 seconds of free time and so she teaches preschool and toddler music classes, outdoor nature education, and writes a weekly column in the local paper (just to keep her honest). With the remaining .3 seconds, she blogs at www.karriemcallister.com.
Children: 24-count crayons (new) 3 folders (no Trapper Keepers) 1 pair of scissors (pointed) 2 glue sticks (school approved) 1 ruler (plastic or metal) 10-count markers (standard colors only) 2 highlighters (yellow) etc. Mother: 1 camera (for send-off photos but it probably won’t have batteries in it so there’s a good chance your kid will miss the bus because you’re searching through the junk drawer in the kitchen) 1 set of batteries (see above) 1 box of tissues, small (for (...Read More)
I would be lying if I said that my hoarse voice was caused by allergies or partying too hard. Instead, it stems from a certain three-year old and a pair of jean shorts. Jean shorts. Racking fracking flipping flapping jean shorts. There is nothing special about them, other than that my daughter has to wear them every day or she breaks down and morphs into baby Hyde with sprouted horns and a spiked tail. Crying, screaming, hitting, all the while (...Read More)
In all my years of parenting, Since those babes came out of my gut, I never have been so exhausted. Yes, summer is kicking my butt. From the day they stepped off the school bus, They instantly started to run. How can they go all day without rest? Summer is kicking my bum. I go outside and they follow me I come back in and they’re standing right here. The air conditioning bill is enormous, Summer is kicking my rear. (...Read More)
Dear Mom and Dad, I know that my days of being a busy mother keep me from sitting down and having a real heart to heart with you, but I hope that the copious amount of hugs and kisses from your grandchildren make up for my lack of serious communication. I’m writing today to apologize for how irritating I was as a child. I must have driven you absolutely crazy and sometimes if I really think about it, I’m not (...Read More)