Rimmel Natural Bronzer

I am not a person who tans. I go from very pale (my heritage is Irish and German, and our collective love of potatoes shows in our complexions) directly to melanoma. I also have very sensitive skin, and am allergic to most chemical sun screens. I can wear titanium dioxide or zinc oxide, and that’s about it. If I’m lathered up good, I look like a robot. This is not an appealing look for the beach.

In short, it’s been years since my face saw the light of day. But now I can at least look like I go outside. I picked up this product at the drugstore recently for about $4. It comes in three shades: Sun Light (fair skin – that would be me), Sun Bronze (medium), and Sun Dance (dark). As with regular blush, you want to use a light hand or you’ll look like Donald Trump. Best to stick with the more subtle, sun-kissed look.

I wore it for the first time the other day, and J. said, “What’s that on your face?” I was thrilled that he noticed.

“It’s my new bronzer! It was only $4! Do I look all healthy and aglow?”

He pointed to my chin. “That green stuff is bronzer?”

“Oh, no. That’s guacamole.” (And very delicious it was, too.)