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About Lisa D.

Once upon a time, Lisa was born and raised in New York, a land where there was a corner deli, Italian restaurant, and Dunkin Donuts with delicious coffee on every corner. And, despite horrific traffic, accents and expletives a-plenty, life seemed to make sense. Enter an Army husband, six kids (b. 1995, 1999, 2000, 2004, 2007 and 2008) and three states later, her family of eight are living the military life in the (very) deep south far from anything familiar, let alone making sense. Once a business management major, Lisa now uses her management skills to keep soccer practices, doctors appointments and juggling six kids' schedules in order, all while trying to cram their big family into small Army housing. You can find her regularly McGyvering things back together using shoelaces and bubble gum with a breastfed baby on her hip, all while baking from scratch and pretending her hair color isn't from a bottle. She finds sanity in gardening, baking cookies, working out so she can eat bake more cookies, playing with her family, and writing about her parenting (mis)adventures. Lisa can also be found at www.CrazyAdventuresinParenting.com seeking sanity in the bottom of her coffee cup.
Author Archive | Lisa D.

Summer Sucks. Mom’s Had Enough.

This mom is done, folks. If I hear, “I’m bored!” “There’s nothing to do!” “My friends can’t come outside!” “Why can’t we stay inside?” ONE.MORE.FREAKING.TIME, I am going to duct tape myself inside a box and mail myself to Siberia. Or overseas. Or some place that doesn’t recognize me as, “Mom” so that maybe, just maybe, I can have a smidgen of peace instead of the constant sibling bickering and kids bemoaning how their life sucks because they’re bored. Bored? (...Read More)

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Sweet Home

Along with the big binder of endless papers we spent an eternity signing, she slid over a padded envelope with our address on it. Within it were four keys; one big, silver key, and three smaller copies. All attached to a ring, all opened the doors to our new home. My hands were moist with nervousness as I fumbled with the keys in my hand, slipping them onto my key chain. I hung them from my fingers for a minute, (...Read More)

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The Military Move of Doom & Death by Homeownership

The Army is moving us at the end of the month. Ever since we found out, we’ve been beyond excited about this move – big city, big possibilities for our family after living in the Land of Nothing Here at this post for so long. Despite our excitement for the area, this move is unbelievably stressful, even more-so than any normal move. We found out that Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, TX doesn’t have on-post housing for us for (...Read More)

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Reasons #238497 and # 238498 Why I’m Gray-Haired

In turning the corner into the dining room, I saw my daughters bag ‘o hair-pretties, splattered about the dining room like a spilled ice cream cone. “Baby, come here for a second, please!” I called out in a very authoritative, Mom-means-business kind-of tone. “Yes, mommy?” She responded, hair all over the place. It was clear she’d been playing hair-do with her brother. I could hear his groans from the other room from her pulling his hair too tightly. “Baby, can (...Read More)

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Adventures in Poop

In all the preparation you go through when becoming a mother, no one bothers to tell you how you’ll be up to your elbows in poop, especially when potty-training. You think dirty diapers are a lot to handle? Just wait until your daughter begins to show signs of interest for her eleventy-kajillion-dollar Princess Potty, but for whatever reason can’t master it without being bare-bottomed. A diaper-less, potty-training toddler let loose in the house? Surely there are worse forms of torture (...Read More)

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