I recently found an old journal that I kept when Elise was just born. Flipping through, I was flooded with nostalgia for that time: finding my way with a newborn when it was all so new (And scary! And messy!)  Then, I came across a page that I labeled “Milestones.”

1^st diaper change: 2 man operation. Sticky black goo. Hard to clean. Can one person ever do this?

1^st restaurant outing: Less than 1 week old. Slept whole time. But, so late in the afternoon that staff were having lunch themselves (thanks to multiple issues figuring out car seat, stroller, car seat + stroller)

1^st meltdown: When the Husband mistakenly used Lysol Sanitizing Wipes (read: BLEACH) on Elise’s bottom instead of baby wipes. First bath followed. Followed by first (of many) tears [mine].

1^st bath: See previous. Sponge-bathed in bathroom on counter. Not Elise’s favorite activity.

1^st tub bath: In our deep soaking tub with Elise in baby tub. Ergonomically, a bad decision.

Additional meltdowns: Tuesday, 2^nd week. Said hurtful, sarcastic words to hubby . Felt like I was doing all the work – not all but lots – in this case, laundry. Mean, mean, mean. So many tears.  Thursday, 2^nd week. Overwhelmed. Shower cry.

1^st fight with Mom: Found that she put Elise face-down to sleep on their soft and cushy air mattress. We both ended up in tears with that one.

End of rapid weight loss: Beginning of 2^nd week. The good days are over. Down 27 lbs, still 23 to go =(

1^st time breastfeeding without Dad leaving room to hide: Sunday, 2^nd week. He did try very hard not to see anything by shielding peripheral vision.

Reading those entries makes me appreciate how far as parents we’ve come and just how CLUELESS we were.

Future Elise, your father and I hope you understand our cluelessness. We’re also sorry we put you to sleep wearing only a short-sleeved onesie for the first 4 months of your life, not realizing you might be cold. Have pity on us, and please don’t call child protective services. Bygones are bygones.