Matriarch is More than a Fancy Word for Mom
As I stumble my way through motherhood, I often seek out the input and recommendation of other moms. Suffice it to say, I am happy to take the advice of a stranger when it comes to the durability of a toy or a skin ointment—but when it comes to guidance on being a mom, well for that I put on my scientist cap and start observing. During this most recent holiday season, I got to see the impact that mothers can make on a family. On two separate occasions, I was invited into the home of friends – whose families, on the surface, couldn’t be more different, but whose moms had far reaching impacts.
The first invitation was to Miss G’s grandmother’s house as this was the appointed place to celebrate a seminal birthday for Miss G. The home was noisy – on every level. Kids running around, screeching, and making the most of parental attentions turned elsewhere. Adults involved in animated conversations. Overseeing it all was Miss G’s grandmother, who welcomed friends and strangers into her home and treated us with love, while serving up food-a-plenty. She was the essence of composure through the raucous laughter and organized chaos. You would never have known that she lost her husband to a long illness less than two weeks prior.
The second invitation was by Dr. R, an old college friend. As is typical for any visit with Dr. R, her two sisters were there along with their spouses, kids and their parents. But this time, one parent was not there, and for me, an admittedly infrequent visitor, the absence was unmistakable. Dr. R’s mother had passed away, far too quickly during the holiday season, and the loss was overwhelming. However, the wonderful visit was accented with moments of reflection, hearty laughter and a brief tear or two (when no one was looking). For this outsider looking in, I could feel Dr. R’s mom in the room. Guiding the conversations with a light touch. Making sure that stories were heard, smiles beamed, and hugs were felt.
Indeed, both families couldn’t have been more different, but were they really? From where I sat, both of these women provided a “sense of place” to family, friends and even strangers. In body or in spirit, these were moms of the blue-ribbon variety. While I’ll take advice on toys from anyone, I take inspiration on being a matriarch from only the best.
