On a cold and damp day in December of 2007 I gave birth.  It was a long and painful labor. Depending on when you start counting, it was over 24 months of paperwork, agony and waiting.  I had to travel half a world away for the labor pains to end, but there on a most gray of days I was handed the most perfect little girl.  Spicy Girl. It wasn’t a private event.  It was shared with 10 other families, (...Read More)

Have you seen those kids’ vitamins that look like gummy bears? I have a love/hate relationships with them. I love that my kids look forward to taking their vitamins everyday. I hate that my kids think vitamins are CANDY. TO BE WORSHIPPED. VITAMINS! WE LOVE YOU! WE NEED YOU! Yes. It’s kind of a problem. Who came up with this cockamamie idea? Evil. Evil. Evil. Who came up with the really bright idea to buy a mega bottle of gummy (...Read More)

When you have kids, you kind of have to be merry and bright and festive in December, even though you may feel like burrowing under your duvet until the holiday season passes. I used to love Christmas with all its twinkle and magic. But now…now it is work. It is buying a dead coniferous that sheds faster than a golden retriever (but whose byproduct is much pokier than fur). It is suffering through the torture that is baking cookies with (...Read More)

The lid has been blown off the whole “watching-our-videos-will-make-your-baby-so-much-smarter-than-those-babies-down-the-block-who-are-still-listening-to-the-radio” scam. I’m ready to join the threatened class-action lawsuit against Disney (doing business as “Baby Einstein”) since my 18-month old has thus far refused to read beyond the fourth of Kierkegaard’s “Eighteen Edifying Discourses”, despite our bribing her with a cookie. And I’m suing Nabisco, too. I’m not sure who is more foolish in this argument: the parents and lawyers who would consider such a frivolous lawsuit (thereby implying that they (...Read More)