Buffy Buzz Kill
Elise blows me away with some of the things she picks up from us.
One time, we were playing reverse roles (guess whose idea), where she was the Mommy, and I was the Elise. She walked over to me calmly and said, “It’s time for school, Elise. Put on your shoes.”
I thought this would be a fine time to mirror the shenanigans I am forced to deal with regularly, give her a taste of her own medicine. So, I put on my best Elise insolence face (I know it well: head back, chin up, scrunch face and look beaten with the ugly stick), and said: NO! I don’t WANT to!
Elise just stood there, ever composed. Then, she said with an even, in-control voice, “That’s not nice. It’s time for school.”
I was blown away. Not only at her performance which was top notch, but the fact that her Mommy seemed so together. So unlike the Mommy that often loses her cool and chucks a Croc down the hallway in frustration. (Not satisfying. Would recommend shoe that weighs more than a cotton ball.)
Then, Saturday, we were at the playground when we ran into one of her little friends who was there with her mother (whom I’ll call “Buffy”). Buffy is a woman who always looks perfect and, I would wager, has never chucked a Croc down the hallway in frustration.
Buffy and I shared pleasantries while the girls started making an imaginary “cake.”
I beamed with pride as Elise said aloud each ingredient she was adding to the mix.
“Chocolate….Strawberries….Blueberries…Flour…Eggs…Milk…”
Didn’t she look like such the little cook! All our time together in the kitchen had clearly paid off! And boy, was I getting hungry. Then things started to go a little awry.
“…Cheese.””
(Really?)
“…Wine”
(Buffy raises one perfectly arched eyebrow.)
“…Margarita”
(Oh, crap.)
“Mommy? “ says Buffy’s daughter. “What’s a MAR-GAH-REE-TA?”
(Perfectly arched eyebrow morphs into the Stink Eye.)
Okay, she must have picked those things up from her father! I swear! I mean, seriously, I’m lactose intolerant.
