Where Every Day is a Spa Day
Are you a preschooler with a lack of Quality Control in your bottom-wiping? Are you an infant whose diapers are getting in a bunch? Are you a toddler who stays in a diaper ALL night long? Pooped on yourself again? Food allergies? Gastrointestinal illness? Need some backside TLC?
Drop on in at the Mama’s Butt Spa Ranch where your bottom is our business! When you check in, leave your stresses and dirty diapers at the door. Leave the rest to Mama!
At Mama’s Butt Spa Ranch, we offer the following services to pamper your overworked bum:
• Steam cleaning
• Gluteal massage
• Premium wipe cleansing
• Application of soothing emollients
• Warm-wipe “facials”
• Air-drying (or blow-dryer assisted) services for the most irritated skin
• Rash first-aid medi-spa
You are never too young or too old to need the Mama Butt Spa Ranch. We are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, during all major and bogus holidays. Just walk, crawl, or roll in. No appointments necessary! (If you are unable to roll, please just call attention to yourself by making explosive noises, and Mama will bring the spa to you!) What’s more, pay nothing now. Yes! We offer this deluxe range of spa experiences for free*, without complaint, for our devoted client base.
* Disclaimer: Clients are expected to ALWAYS remember the full-range of spa experiences they enjoyed at the Ranch. If client forgets he/she will be pleasantly reminded through the use of guilt and verbal memory-jogging techniques. Services offered may vary by season, materials on hand, and/or Mama’s mood. Mama is fully licensed to perform services and is the sole proprietor of the Butt Spa Ranch.
