June 25, 2009 By Laura

Excuse Me, Could you Park Your Mommies Group Somewhere Else?

As a working mother, I struggle when switching between my “mom” and my “working” hats. Admittedly, getting out of the office in time to avoid being penalized by the daycare clock-watchers can be difficult. And don’t even get me started on how I brag to co-workers about Spicy Girl’s latest achievements (“Can you believe it? She put on her shoes! On the wrong feet!” Gush, Gush).

But, there is one place that I can move that hat over pretty damn quick—and that’s at lunch. Lunch is all business.

Last week, a co-worker and I went to a favorite suburban sandwich place for a bite. It was noon and the place was packed. Businessmen and women from the adjacent office park or local home offices were meeting, eating, and using the free wi-fi. But smack in the middle of the workday hustle and bustle, was another group. Eight Moms. With eight newborns. With eight hockey-equipment-sized diaper bags. And a combination of baby buckets, strollers and carriers that surrounded the pushed-together tables like a minefield.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love moms. I am a mom. I love kids. I’ve got one. But, as I was tackling an unsuspecting real estate broker to get a table, I thought about what I’ve heard my single friends say before. They’ve said that many women—specifically those who are pregnant or new moms—reach a certain point in life where they feel like they have “an excuse.”

“An excuse for what?” I used to think.

But there, in the middle of my working lunch, I saw it in living color.

I was torn. I could see that these moms needed this time out of the house (it was clear that the last time two of them had showered was DAYS ago). But I could also see that the other patrons were frustrated by the Rhode-Island-sized swath of acreage they occupied.

So, I stepped to the head of the table and laid it out for them. “Good afternoon ladies. I know how hard it is to get out of the house, especially as a new mom and all, but …”

“We aren’t moms, we are nannies. Their moms are at work.“

“Oh. Then get out.”

Sometimes it’s convenient to have two hats.

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About Laura

If you had told Laura that she would become a first time mom at 41, say back in her "spirited 20s", she would have said "That sounds about right. I've got too much to do until then." Well, she didn't really, and it wasn't exactly by choice. Seven years of fertility treatments later, it all seemed to make sense. And with the words, "let's adopt," the adventure really began. When her daughter ("Spicy Girl" b.2007) was placed in her arms at 11 months old, in a city half-way around the world, the idea of motherhood became the reality of "what the hell am I doing?" All at once, life at home became a constant sociological experiment of nature vs. nurture. "Honestly, honey, I didn't teach her how to do a forward roll at 20 months ... I couldn't do one when I was 20 years old. It must be her hard-wiring." In her daytime away from mom-hood, she works as a higher education administrator where she does her best not to parent 18 to 22 year-olds.