Back before my dentist dealt me the low blow that I had to start wearing a nightguard for my nocturnal teeth grinding, my husband and I had our share of mixed signals in the bedroom.
How should we let the other person know we were in the, you know, mood?
We decided it had to be conveyed earlier in the evening for proper mental preparation. There’s nothing that’s more of a let down than getting all excited to actually go to sleep early and make a dent in your chronic sleep deficit—only to find your plans foiled.
So we devised a signaling system: Early in the evening one of us would proclaim that we really needed to go to bed early that night. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.
But this was clearly a flawed system. For we soon discovered that, every night, we really did need to go to bed early—because we were exhausted from child night waking / long day at work / dealing with subversive temper trantrums / (insert anything that happens over the course of the day of being parents). So, we would hear each other say the magic words and not know whether it meant bada bing bada boom or simply, “I’m exhausted.”
To try and make things clearer, we started exclaiming to each other, “I can’t wait to sleep!” Or, “All I want to do is sleep!” This did not help.
Ultimately, our plan led to many a crossed signal and some marital discord.
However, these days, things are much clearer (thanks to Dr. Dentist). Because when that nightguard clicks in, there’s no doubt about it: Mama is going to sleep. And, if there is any doubt remaining, the extra sexy lisp it gives me seals the deal. Not to mention I look like I’m about to fight Apollo Creed.
.
Who knew that a festering mouth appliance could improve your love life?
Comments are closed.