I remember when bathrooms used to be a sacred place, a private chamber where you could attend to your *ahem* bathroom duties in peace and quiet. Luxuriate in a hot bubble bath. Meditate in the shower. Maybe read a few chapters of a favorite book if that was your thing. (In my family growing up, all bathrooms were required to hold a magazine rack and a small built-in bookcase.)
Funny how things change.
For now, I can hardly enter the bathroom before one or two small dependent people charge in to make sure I never have bathroom zen.
Part of the problem is I can never close the door when I’m the only caretaker around. Which means trying to do my business as quickly as possible since Luke is slamming the toilet lid against my back every 2 seconds. Then, while I’m at the sink and my back is turned, he’s off to practice how quickly he can unravel a full roll of toilet paper (his personal best: 3 seconds.) (Read more…)
Yesterday was a particularly hard day for me. A day that will go down in the annals of motherhood, filed under: suckola.
Nothing tragic happened. No one in my family was hit by a speeding Mazda or suffered a crippling bacterial infection or rendered lifeless by a peanut.
It was, simply, stay-at-home burn-out catching up with me. It was fatigue brought on by a chattering, needy boy and a clinging, clingy girl. Fatigue so profound that I wanted to both lock myself in a silent panic room (everyone has one, right?) or methodically call every adult I knew for a chat, for some give and take that didn’t involve continually asking if the other party had to go potty. (Read more…)
This past year our children seemed to have lost more teeth than a professional hockey team. The Ladybug lost many of her baby teeth, while the Monkey has moved on to round two—the molars. (Oh yes, they’re bigger and bloodier.) And the more the teeth drop, the harder it has become for the “tooth fairy” to generate enthusiasm.
In the past, along with the reward under their pillow, the kids might have found a note that went something like this:
Dear Wonderful Child,
Another tooth! Wow – you’re growing up so fast! Great job!
Love, The Tooth Fairy.
Nice, right? Well, no more. Here, in a Momicillin exclusive, is the Tooth Fairy when she’s “had enough.”
Hey Kid -
Are you freaking kidding me? Another tooth? Are you sure these are still your baby teeth? I’m checking with your dentist, and if this isn’t a baby tooth, I want my two dollars back. (Read more…)
